In a village in North Yorkshire, England a pheasant has attacked men, women and children. The pheasant’s wrath is so ferocious the postman’s afraid to come into town.

Are these people serious? A lion you get terrorized by. A pheasant you terrorize.

According to one of the locals, it’s breeding season and the bird is just protecting his territory. Nonetheless, one bird at an estimated bodyweight of 5 pounds holding an entire village hostage. C’mon!

In the hallowed tradition of art imitating life, next we’ll see a horror movie with killer pheasants gobbling up villagers, which, to me, will seem more believable than one pheasant terrorizing an entire village.

If the pheasant were smart, he’d hit the villagers up for a bribe to make him cease and desist, and move onto the next village to ply his extortion trade.

Not to belabor the point, but a pheasant? What would these people do if a goose were on the loose?