My Story By Mats From Sweden
A couple of years ago I would probably have said that my spiritual awakening started in 1989, when I got my first out of body experiences. Today I must say it started much earlier. It hasenīt only continued for all this life but is a continuing story that seems to go back much further, and I canīt see the end of it either. Itīs like a never ending story.When I was 12 years old and had a fever, I suddenly found myself at the roof of a room that was expanding in all directions. When the room was hundreds of meters wide, I was convinced I would fall down from the roof to the floor and die. My mother had to calm me down. After this I began to see frightening things in my bedroom, when going to bed at night. I could see a man staring at me, just a meter away, when I was laying in bed. The most frightening for me, as a young boy, was that the man appeared completely real, and I was awake. In spite of this he could suddenly disappear 30 seconds later, when I panicked totally. This was my first introduction to the astral levels.
After some time I came to the conclusion that these scary experiences in some way came from my own fear of the state I was in, and as my fear reduced, the people in the room got less scary and eventually disappeared. The mystical state came back from time to time, but I didnīt know what it was, and paid little attention to it.
In 1987, at the age of 31, my interest for spiritual matters increased, and a little more than one year later I started to have OBEs. In those days I wondered if my interest in these matters had triggered my OBEs to start, but today I am pretty sure it was the other way around. My interest in spiritual matters increased a year before, to prepare me for what was to come. We often believe we are in control over our interests, but that may not always be the case.
I learned to travel out of my body, sometimes visiting friends, and sometimes, at rare occasions, they were sensitive enough to see that I was there, if they were awake in there astral bodies, and we could discuss our meeting afterwards. I also learned that I could go out of my body and meet another person in that person's dream, which gave me a new perspective on the subject of dreams.
But the most interesting of all was to leave the physical, travel at seemingly high speeds, and end up in a totally new environment. Here I felt I was no longer in the physical reality, but here were people that I could touch and talk to (impossible to people in physical) and the longer the journey was, the wiser the inhabitants got. I met people who obviously knew me and helped me in my life in the physical, and also had some other encounters that I will have to keep for myself. On "lower planes" I met confused and sometimes angry people. I never got afraid of them, but after a few years I realized that I should not be there at all. It was damaging my energy system. Some friends who were wiser than me advised me to ask for protection, every morning and evening, and every time I separated from the physical. I also stopped hurrying away after leaving my body, and instead waited to see what would happen. The results were dramatic, all encounters on lower planes stopped completely, and I gradually alsofelt better on the inside.
My search for knowledge led me to books, and to people in different spiritual organizations. All the time something urged me to keep searching, and my wise leaders once said to me "never accept anything as the absolute truth". It wasnīt until I found the old esoteric teachings as they were presented by Bailey and Laurency, among others, that I really felt I had found something of value. Here was an explanation of a system far more complex than I had encountered in the new age teachings. It made me realize how little I understood of it all, and how difficult it is to help others until you have some grasp of reality yourself. Here were ideas that never had changed for thousands of years, and here I could read warnings against practicing yoga, meditating too much, breathing exercises and others. This was exactly my own experience! I had been warned against too much meditation in my dreams so many times, and after once trying a breathing exercise I got this clear message in my head: "Donīt do that again." I tried tapes bought from an institute in USA that could alter my brainwaves, to get them synchronized. After one such attempt I got this message in my head: "Every time you do this we have to work a lot afterwards to get you in balance again." I stopped using the tapes.
I have come to the conclusion that it doesnīt always help to be in contact with wise beings on higher planes. One canīt ask them for anything that needs to be solved in life. There are rules for what information that can be given to a person, and what can not. Most things we have to find out for ourselves, that is a part of the learning process. Thatīs also why some answers given from above may seem a little vague. We have to think and understand for ourselves or the result will have no meaning. Many times after I finally undestood that the confirmation came from above: "Yes, now youīve got it right!" But I had to find it out for myself first.
The last six years I have had increasing feelings of energy flowing through my body, especially in my spine and at my chakrapoints. Sometimes I feel like a fountain of energy. I get inspirational and educational dreams almost every night. Pictures can be shown to me at any time, sometimes even when my eyes are open. My life feels like a balancing act. Uncontrolled emotions are extremely harmful, so I try to avoid them the best I can. I try to follow one suggestion given to me from my leaders: "Donīt worry to much, and just observe what happens.". I never do deep meditation of any kind, and I am no member of any church or organization. My life goes up and down, but I try to stay on the road. I imagine my guidance from above together with my own searching for knowledge in books has helped me a lot avoiding the worst traps in life.
I believe every person is completely unique, also when it comes to spiritual awakenings. A method thatīs helpful to one person may cause damage to another, and our energy system is far more complex then we can imagine.
When I look at the confusion within the new age movement I feel sad. So many people get destroyed there because there is so little knowledge about the kundalini effects. At the same time I have to be careful and not believe I have all the answers myself. I donīt know what problems await me in the future, and when it comes to helping others, itīs even worse. How much do any of us really understand? As for myself, I wish I understood more.
Đ Copyright Mats 2006